Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

This is the one day that we can celebrate the fact that women everywhere got fucked, knocked up, and kept the kid.

Remember, no mother is a virgin.

This is almost like having a holiday to celebrate the fact that people fuck.

That sounds like a good idea to me.

Yay!

Thowin' Babies Returns In A Big Way!

Really, I can't say much except that this video has all kinds of awesome in it: Thowin' babies, car accidents, a giant squid, and just... fuck, it is awesome.

Cousin Records Again?

Joe is coming over today, or so he says. If he doesn't make it over here I will be shitting in his ear. If he does make it over here we will be shitting in your ear. How so?

Well, quite simly we wil be able to say something witty lik "Listen to our new shit!" and thus my promise is fulfilled.

Anyhow, all I'm really saying is that I love the shape of your shapeless liquid shit. Because of that fondness for it I hope to partake in the crafting in a Cousin song, of course with my cousin Joe, that will sing the praises of all that is disgusting, vile, and hopeless in this world. I'm sure it will sound amazing, however.

Harmonies, blasphemy, dirty words, and songs about bodily functions: Really, isn't that what life is all about?

New cousin music, cumming soon!

Monkfish Blues Lyrics

Monkfish Blues is by far one of our favorite tracks. This insane song was intended to be a Christmas Song but we wound up going somewhere completely different with the lyrics, and really, I'm glad we did. Joe spits some insane stuff on it and the music on this track allowed me to come up with a decent melody the singing parts. After it was all said and done we were pretty damn happy with it. Anyhow, here are the lyrics!

Monkfish Blues
Lyrics and Music by: Joe Kasyan and Rene Rosa

I got a call from Moby dick his mobile made him cell fish
He was in lock down being part gefilte, I felt this
I told that fish you oughtta think outside the box
get together with ya homie swordfish and pick the lock
then snuff the guard that dickhead lox
his canned salmon ass ain't handsome wit that rancid head of dreadlocks
Back on the damp ranch we're dealin' wit the illest shit
duckin' oil filters and avoidin' oil spillages
Exxon's black liquid bombs killin' fish farms
this harm trickles down to the littlest villages
they bait and switch, get us into nets and pillage us
So we're stewed to gills while Peta sits still and just
fill their guts with tofu-pups and bitches filibust
Still I'm just dot at the bottom of god's syllabus
this underwater thug life is so hard
they plunder and slaughter us, so motherfuck the coast guard
we're so scarred, yet we remain so proud
these fuckin' yuppies hookin' unlucky guppies so foul
Men are sinnin' often, for dinner portions
This chicken of the sea says mothercluck you, fuck Gorton's

fuck Gorton's that crustacean hater's a walkin' abortion
his brain's still attached to the hanger that was forced in
his mother's pussy walls, turned to vulva borscht portions
that sorry ass salad tossin' orphan

I was swimming towards my bitch,
The hottest mother fuckin' dogfish,
But something wasn't right that night.
I could tell she wasn't moving,
With music blasting she wasn't grooving,
It was the most fucked up sight.
She was floating upside down in slick,
And now I've got no love.
The black and gooey tar oh so think,
A death sent from above..

fuck Gorton's that crustacean hater's a walkin' abortion
his brain's still attached to the hanger that was forced in
his mother's pussy walls, turned to vulva borscht portions
that sorry ass salad tossin' orphan

I went to gather a little algae,
When something almost hit me,
It was tough to see this at night.
It was someone's used rubber,
I mistook it for whale blubber,
And now I cant swallow things right.
And now I'm floating upside down in slick,
And I am going to drown,
I'll be here dying and oh so sick,
Then my sole float on down.

fuck Gorton's that crustacean hater's a walkin' abortion
his brain's still attached to the hanger that was forced in
his mother's pussy walls, turned to vulva borscht portions
that sorry ass salad tossin' orphan

Pubic Sir Cornea Lyrics

You're probably hearing this song right now, or this may have been the first Cousin song you ever heard. Regardless of which, you can now see the lyrics right here, as promised! Enjoy!



Pubic Sir Cornea
Music and Lyrics by: Rene Rosa and Joe Kasyan

Well I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same,
Because the bitch sucked so hard she nearly sucked out my brain.
And I’m not upset that she left a stain,
When it comes to getting head you’ll never ever hear me complain.

When I’m feeling oh so satisfied,
It doesn’t really matter if who I’m fucking is alive.
And I don’t care if she’s young or old,
As long as it’s still moist and it isn’t cold.

Lick my balls
Suck my Dick
Fuck my face,
Eat my Shit

Rub my fat,
Lick my Dick
Fuck my ass
Touch the tip

We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
‘Cause Cousin never been quitters!

Well I don’t think I could fuck a man,
Attraction to a hairy ass is what I can’t understand.
And with little boys, I could never plan,
But look how Mr. Jackson’s always holding one’s hand.

When there somewhere I want to be inside,
It’s got to be a narrow waist with the hips all wide.
And I’ll tell you all now, Bitch, what is what,
That nothing spells loving like the tightest twat.

Lick my balls
Suck my Dick
Fuck my face,
Eat my Shit

Rub my fat,
Lick my Dick
Fuck my ass
Touch the tip

We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
‘Cause Cousin never been quitters!

Bitch you don’t have to tell me twice,
I know that free sex comes at a smelly price
That chain swings on your hips, nice, belly ice.
Let’s get a womb with a view, I’ll pay the ‘telly’s price
And stay overnight, this porn pro will show you right
Let me pour you sprite and codeine over ice,
I’m so nice, got a dreadlocked cock with no lice.
Chicken heads working, jerking my head like rolling dice
It’s no surprise my hose stays oversized.
Nod your head, slobbin' my knob till its throbbin' red
Haunting that ass like a hobgoblin in bed.

When you don’t like a face it’s doggy style,
If not you’re gonna’ be there for the longest while.
And sure it takes a little work
But it beats being home playing tug and jerk.

Now I don’t claim to be the hottest man,
But there is something about attraction that I don’t understand.
I rack up hoes like my dicks a show,
Within 15 minutes the bitch is ready to blow.

Lick my balls
Suck my Dick
Fuck my face,
Eat my Shit

Rub my fat,
Lick my Dick
Fuck my ass
Touch the tip

We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
We’ll tear the rim off your shitter!
‘Cause Cousin never been quitters!

Cousin Conquers The Blogosphere!

That's right, it has happened. Cousin is now part of the world of blogging and soon enough these pages will be filled with rants, raves, lyrics, thoughts, news, annoucements, disguting annecdotes, pictures of midgets, and I'm guessing the words vagina and asshole.

Oh, see, there they are already!

Joe shall be here too... a blog with both of us saying stupid shit. How awesome is that?

You don't like it? Deal with it!

News and more to follow!